I should post more often

I'm now about in the middle of week #3. I can tell it's healing because of how it itches. The reddish rings around each burn is another indicator - that's, I think, where the early ash-rubbings have become part of the scar. The ash gives it a darker color, and the healing tissue locks it in place. On the last ash rub, it only took in the center, so it's like each mark has an eye.
(except for the left-most one, which apparently didn't want any ash at all)

I don't know how long it will be before they're healed completely, but it's making good progress so far. And they're only moderately painful.

The only thing that has sucked lately was a few days ago, when I was up really late in the computer lab doing homework after having taken a shower. After a couple hours of sitting there at a computer, I got up to use the restroom. Well... in those couple hours, the wet scabs (from the shower) had firmed up...and attached themselves to my underwear. So, using the restroom became an unexpectedly painful event when pieces of scab tore away when I pulled down my pants to pee.
In retrospect, it's pretty funny!

Been burned for over a week

Last Sunday (I didn't get around to posting then), my brand turned one week old! Hooray!

Now, after a week of only mild discomfort, it's starting to get more constantly "ache-y." I find myself needing to sleep on either my stomach or my left side (normally, I sleep on my back, but that puts too much weight on my burned ass).
Yesterday, when I took the bandages off in the morning, small sections of scabbing stuck and came off, which made 2 of the circles start to bleed just a little.
It's still not awful, pain-wise, but it's definitely tender. It also sucks when my friends forget about it and smack me in the butt. I've already had one friend offer a verbal contract, "You may punch me in the penis one time," after ass-slapping me pretty hard, right..on..my...brand. Ouch. I probably won't punch his penis, but it was very thoughtful of him to offer :-)

Now for some pictures! (from Sunday: the first day of week #2)

I just got out of the shower and had my camera ready to get some pictures. I thought it might be cool to get some pictures of ash rubs - 2 un-ashed, 2 ashed. Look at that dank-ass-burn.
3 ashed, one to go. This process burns. I almost took some pictures of the faces I made, but I didn't really want to post pictures of my face and my ass on the same blog. I mean, this is the internet we're talking about! You never know who might see!
But yeah.
There's muh hand, ready to rub some ashes into the 4th burn.



And, finally, all bandaged up and ready for bed.... I've been using non-adhering bandages with either neosporin or this burn gel that the athletic trainer gave me, stuck on with athletic tape.
But even the non-adhering bandages sometimes stick...and draw out some of the ash.
I'll need to collect some more ash soon, but I figure it'll be alright if I don't ash for a day or two.
Today = Day 9

4th Day

Well, I've had my brand for 4 days now. It's starting to ache and feel a little swollen. I might need to soak in a cool shower tomorrow morning.
The ash rubbing really does sting, I'm learning, and the irritation is becoming somewhat noticeable now. First couple days = no pain. Now, it's starting to set in. Now it's healing.

So I'm drinking more water than usual (good for me anyways) and really working on quitting cigarettes (Resolution 2010!).

At track, the brand only bugs me when we're doing ab workouts and I'm putting weight directly on it. (my muscles are nice and sore, too, from coming back to track practice after a week of break).


Alright, pictures:
these are actually from yesterday.
First, right after showering, after having peeled off the forming scabs. You can see where the bandaids were earlier. I need to get some more big non-adhering pads for myself.




Fresh out of the shower, hands and burns clean, I did another ash rubbing. I locked myself in the bathroom so no one would be able to interrupt (or walk in and be shocked). It also stung very much, so I could let my eyes water in privacy :-)


Now, it's covered up with bandaids and it's aching a big. Tomorrow morning? Wake up and take a cool shower to wake up and sooth my aching ass.

Layers

I did a third ash rubbing last night after showering. In the shower, I peeled away the layer that was starting to form on each burn. I figure, it's best to do that in the shower, where my hands and the wounds are all clean; the water softens the tissue making it easier and less painful to peel off. Sounds horrible, I know, so maybe it's a good idea not to eat while reading this blog.
What I found was that once the newly forming tissue was peeled away, I the burns stung! Here I thought I'd lost all sense of feeling from the branding, but yesterday I learned that my nerves are not entirely burned away.

The ash rubbing stung something horrible on the exposed wounds, each open and raw. I'm not gonna lie about how much that sucked. However, for good color and raised scarring, I'll just have to deal with the discomfort and keep working at it. Agitation will make it a stronger scar.

No pictures for now... it really doesn't look much different than the previous pictures. Plus, I haven't added them to my computer yet. (and my computer has been crashing regularly since last night, so..... I might end up without a computer soon. I hope not.)

Beginning of Day 4

NSFW, my friends, and NSFFamily, at least not yet.

Here we are, a full day after ..and then some. The brands only sting around the edges when I shower and, otherwise, are not creating any real discomfort. Track practice went fine, going to class was fine, sitting in classes was fine... Really, The Tree of Wisdom was worse at this point - much more painful in process, sore and tender afterward... Burns? Nah.

Looks painful, I know, but really it isn't that bad right now. I'm just being sure to keep it clean (bandaged up... I'm just taking pictures when I'm tending to it then covering again).

I've decided on doing some ash rubbings as well. Here's a picture of the ash rubbed on after cleaning:
It's not a very pretty sight, but it's not very pretty times they symbolize >_<
I re-covered myself with some neosporin and bandages then, and am about ready for bed.
We'll see how things look tomorrow.

A Fresh Start

Yesterday, around 5pm, I took a long-anticipated trip to Fort Wayne to get my brand: 4 circles on my right cheek. I know that many people will not understand the personal significance of having these four marks burned into my flesh. I know I will forever be answering questions.

For example: Why 4 cirlces?
The 4 circles are part of the meaning - one circle for each year of the New Years resolution I made when I was a Junior in high school. I resolved to quit cutting, and now, 4 years later, I am a Junior in college and decided to pay tribute to that struggle. A 6 year addiction/habit was dropped with one final decision to stop.
People have asked, "Why not just get 4 circles tattooed?"
I have to say, a tattoo just would not have the same significance.
Scars are more subtle, first off, and the process of scarification is much more of a ritual ..and less common and pretty damn badass.

Enough explaining the meaning... people can keep their opinions to themselves as far as I'm concerned. It means a great deal to me, and that's all that matters.

The actually branding did hurt significantly, but only for a few seconds. It hurt like hell when the metal was on my skin, but it was only on for a second. Once the artist pulled away, it hurt for a couple seconds longer, then stopped hurting. The process (once things were sterilized and everything) was over in about 5 minutes.
He placed guide marks so he knew where to make the permanent marks, then I laid face-down and took deep breaths, preparing myself for the pain. I had done some meditation before starting the drive to the shop, so the breathing was really just a continuation of that mindset.
The torch was lit, he heated the metal that was gripped in a vice-grip, and asked if I was ready.
Each touch hurt slightly more than the one before, and each time, he let me know, "Alright sweetie, ready for the next one?"
I tensed up, naturally, but kept myself from thrashing (therefore messing up the brand).
After the brand was complete, he washed it off with a little soap and water on a paper towel, then put a bandage on and that was that. I pulled up my pants, chilled a little, paid, and took off for home!

It's been 26 hours since my appointment, and, so far, the only time it has been painful was when did an ash rubbing after track practice. I'll keep posting through the process.

Picture = 3 hours after being branded.